Taylor calls today. I am eating lunch so she says she will call back because she "has something important to talk about". Figuring she is going to tell me she is pregnant again I press her to talk....Her next question totally knocks me for a loop.
"How's your credit?"
At first I didn't think I had heard her right. I'm like "It's fine, why?"
She continues "Will you co-sign for a house for us?"
I would like EVERYONE reading this to know that my response to her did not contain one, NOT ONE, four letter word in it... Aren't you impressed? Even though I wanted to say "What the hell do you mean will I co-sign for you? You can't find gas money on a GOOD day let alone pay a mortgage and you want me to ruin my credit for you too? You stupid ass selfish pain in the ass - HELL NO I won't sign for you."
But - I didn't say any of that. I did laugh though. I couldn't help myself. I told her there was NO WAY I was co-signing for anything for her and that I didn't think it was a very good idea for her to try and get a mortgage payment on top of the problems she already has. Inside I was screaming my fool head off though. What a dumb ass. What the hell is she thinking? And did she really, truly believe I would say yes?
Sometimes I swear she isn't mine. If she didn't have that damn birthmark on the top of her head that was so prominent when she was born, I would swear they switched her with some other person's child. Someone who didn't have a lick of common sense, the IQ of a squirrel and the personality to match... I swear, I can't believe the stuff that comes out of her mouth sometimes. It makes me SO MAD..... What do you say to a kid that is so clueless???
The conversation was short and sweet. I popped a Xanax as soon as I hung up the phone. One of these days I am just going to start drinking around the clock so I am ready for when this stuff comes at me.
I got some really cool boots at Kohl's on my lunch too and she RUINED my good mood..Dumb ass.
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