When I found out I was pregnant for the second time it came as quite the surprise. I was working at the Sheriff's Office but Tony (the ex) was in and out of jobs faster than a horny teenager after a girl. We were already struggling but I was overjoyed. The happiness soon turned into weariness because I had the pregnancy from HELL. If it could happen it happened. I was hospitalized four times for dehydration, I got mysterious rashes that had to be biopsied, they often couldn't find a heartbeat, I could go on and on and on. Towards the end of my pregnancy I found out that my OB-GYN lost her credintials at CMH where I planned on having the baby. She ended up leaving town due to a rape scandal at the hospital that she had knowledge of but did nothing about. I changed doctors and had exactly one visit before I went into labor. I had no idea how big my baby was, no idea if he was where he needed to be to get out, nothing. VERY stressful for a mom.
Well he came with no pain killers at 8 pounds, 4 ounces. He was SO big. I couldn't believe I had a baby that big. Taylor was only 6lb 12 ozs. I walked into the hospital, 9 months pregnant, at 140 lbs. That is 5 lbs less than I weigh now ( you can see why I am so depressed) so I wasn't exactly a large person. I have to admit - he wasn't the prettiest baby. In fact, he was red, wrinkled and lumpy. But I had waited forever for a little boy and I couldn't have been happier.
Around two years old I started noticing that things were a little different with Aaron. He had, to this point, reached all major milestones. But at two years old he started drooling profusely, wasn't talking, and didn't seem to be interested in much of anything except Star Wars movies. He also started throwing what I would call his "fits" over really strange things. Like bugs, butterflies, thunder, loud noises, crowds, etc. Potty training was just not happening. After he somehow miraculously unbuckled his carseat and jumped out of my moving vehicle (thank God we were moving slowly) at 2 1/2 because of a bug in the back window I decided to seek some help.
After lots of testing ( and I mean LOTS) Aaron was diagnosed at the University of Florida Shands Hospital as having PDD/NOS which translates into Pervasive Developmental Disorder/Not Otherwise Specified. It is in the Autistic Spectrum - meaning Aaron met certain criteria to be considered autistic-like, but not enough for the full blown diagnosis. He also has mild Cerebral Palsy which usually only shows up during very physical activities. The doctors have told me that at some point during my pregnancy Aaron went without oxygen for an unknown period of time.
So began years and years of Speech/Physical and Occupational Therapy, in and out of school. I would take Aaron twice a week to Shands for Speech and OT and then work the 3 - 11 shift at the Sheriff's Office. I would take him when I was on Mids. I would change shifts with co-workers so I wouldn't work days so I could take him up there, year after year. Aaron's speech was apraxic, which is hard to explain but words would come out sounding like gibberish, milk would sound like yook, etc. And the drooling, good Lord, the drooling. At the age of five doctors decided to remove his tonsils and adnoids to help with the problem. He wore a bib until he was almost five. When he concentrated it was worse because he would forget to swallow. We were constantly telling him to swallow because he just didn't remember to. He was finally potty trained at four. Everything was delayed. It ran about two years behind. He was in ESE pre-k from the age of three. At five we decided to hold him back from kindergarten one more year because he just wasn't ready. He couldn't tie his shoes. He didn't know his last name. The kids couldn't understand him when he talked, things like that.
Aaron has been a constant work in progress. Right around the age of three when I wanted to begin the testing, Aaron's dad decided his son wasn't going to go to a "shrink" as he put it. I told him if he wasn't going to be part of the solution, he was becoming part of the problem and to get the hell out. He (Tony) has never truly accepted the issues with Aaron and never will. After he re-married he dropped both kids like a bad habit. It is a sad situation that breaks my heart every time we have to deal with it.
But, back to Aaron. They said he was learning disabled (true). They said he would probably never talk well (false). They said he may never be able to be in mainstream classes (also false). After years of tireless work, Aaron is a freshman in high school and although all of his classes, minus one, are still ESE, he is on track for a regular high school diploma, not the special one that we were expecting all these years.
I cannot tell you enough about this child. He has the biggest heart in the world. He wants to work at PetSupermarket and live in a house behind Bill and I when he gets out of high school. We don't know yet if he will be able to drive but we are hopeful. He isn't quite there yet. He is slowly learning to count money. He still can' t spell his middle name, but hey, Chandler is a long word, you know? His life is video games. He loves dogs more than people and would bring home every one we see on the side of the road if I would let him. He LIVES Star Wars. Still. After 13 years. I don't think he will ever outgrow it. And he loves me more than anyone on this planet. He loves me unconditionally. Without judgement. Without questions. I am his life. He is my son. The one I waited so long for. And I wouldn't change a thing.
If everyone in the world worked as hard as my son, and loved as much as my son, there would be no war, no divorce, no poverty, no pain. Don't get me wrong, he is hyperactive, usually drives me up a wall and sometimes I want to strangle him. But underneath the behavior is the kindest, purest soul you will ever meet. A child who only wants approval and love, and will do anything to get it.
Aaron, my son, I thank God every day for you. You keep me sane. I love you, Mommy
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