My health

I am only 39 years old. I still consider that to be fairly young. More than likely it is because I am praying I live to be very, very old. Plus, I am just starting my life with Bill and I want to make sure I have lots and lots of years to spend with him, even though we seem to be clashing lately.

I went to the doctor on Monday to get the results of all the bloodwork and x-rays I had done. I have been having some significant problems (in addition to my neck) and was very hopeful that I would get some answers. Well I got what I asked for.

Dr. Faith ( my rheumatologist) went over all the test results with me. I have inflammatory arthritis in my hands and feet. Significant arthritis showed up on the xrays. She told me she also saw some in the area of my hips/back. She believes it may be tied to my chrohn's disease. She said it is common for people with chrohns to develop IA. Great. Just another added problem. She started me on a sulfa medicine that will help the arthritis and also help with the chrohns. I have been having some problems lately and she said my white blood cell count is up so I am thinking my chrohns may be flaring a bit.

While I was at the doctor they took my BP five times because it was so high. Now I have to monitor it for a few days and then go see my family doctor because I may need blood pressure meds as well.

My question is "when will it end"? I feel like a hypochondriac except all of my problems are real. I get SO tired of explaing my issues to people and I find myself having to mentally stop myself from complaining all the time. I am quite sure I get on everyone's nerves. It would get on my nerves if the roles were reversed.

Don't get me wrong - I am completely aware that it could be a million times worse. One of my closest friends has stage 4 cancer and I see her struggling every day. I am so thankful I don't have anything like that to deal with. I do, however, hurt every morning, afternoon and night. My conditions are chronic and can't be cured which means I have this to look forward to for the rest of my life.

I hope the doctors have me on the right medicines to battle the issues. They really seem to know what they are doing. I am definitely at work more now than I have been in the past year. That is a good sign. I simply must work - going out on disability just isn't an option right now. Plus, like I said, I am 39 years old. I refuse to give in to this crap. I am going to find a way to deal with it so I can get my strength back at least a little bit.

Hopefully my body will cooperate. Only time will tell. But I will keep trying. I will not give up. I will succeed.
I have to...